The Scoop with Tanya Flanagan

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KU NBC Studios on public radio K, u and v 91.5.

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Good morning. And thank you for joining me for the scoop with Tanya Flynn. And again, I'm so happy you decided to wake up and start your day with me. Here on the scoop, where we talk about life, joy, funny moments, trending topics, and so much more. We promise to keep you in the know and find out what you know. So let's get started.

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Good morning. Good morning. Good morning, Las Vegas. And thank you for tuning in once again to the scoop with me, Tanya Flanagan, we are nearing the end of another year about to say goodbye to 2023. And I thought it would be great to do the show, close out the new year to begin and close out the year to begin a new moving into 2024 with purpose. And I am delighted to have with me, Len to sames, author, counselor, just a phenomenal woman, woman extraordinaire here this morning. So good morning, Lynne.

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And good morning, Tanya, thanks for having me.

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That made you laugh. It's all true.

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Thank you.

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I'm grateful for your time today. And we're talking about a new arm of work, I guess we could say that you're getting into which is in the vein of what you've always done, which is reaching out to help other people on to teach them and to bring them into a space of awareness. Absolutely. And you have an event coming up. Not that it's open, per se to the public is an invitational only event. But the idea behind it just really intrigued me. Women purpose and processing. Yes. So as I said, opening up the show the title, closing up the year to begin a new moving into 24 with purpose. Where the energy and the idea come from to have any event for women that focuses on purpose and processing and what what is this all about?

Unknown Speaker 2:17
So for me, I do a lot of processing, especially when I do my trainings, I trained in trauma, trauma sensitive care primarily with with the Department of Family Services. But then, you know, outside of that my training is still I do a lot of trauma, leadership training on trauma. But I do a lot of processing with people. And I noticed that when people have them aha moments from processing is a game changer. And I myself have them. And if I can sit down with myself and I can process through some stuff and find revelation. And I watch people that I work with and talk with final revelation, I want to agree to bring a group of women together. And all the women they're over 30s Because I want to make sure it's balanced. I don't want young mix with older and then they got two different stories. The women are well established women, they all have things going on. And so I want us to take an opportunity to get together kind of like sisterhood, but it's not just all African American women is diverse. But take the time, especially before the new year and just reflect and really, it's really about our strength. I got some key foundational words that I want us to focus on. What's gonna be I don't want to give it away any of

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them, can we? So I guess I want to say can we get one word? Or is it like 10? Word five words, can we get one or two of them just even on the show before we before we you know, we close, we have 30 minutes to chat this morning. But to leave people with significant words that make them think about what their experiences have been and 2023. Because when I started thinking about talking to you this morning, I was like, our life is a combination of a number of different experiences that shape who we are, and at the same time that are fashioning us into who we are becoming. So reflection, at the end of the year, a lot of reflection happens when you look at what have I been through what has challenged me, sometimes we fail, like when we're in the midst of the storm. There is no ending, right? Like the cloud is just right over your head and it's just pouring down on you. And everybody around you is just all Sunny. So this is your cloud, right? But at some point the cloud does pass it moves in the storm ends and we look back on different things we go through in life and we go does that happen? It seems so much larger at the time that I was in it. I've been going through it and you look back and you're like, man, is that all like wow, and especially when like there's a move of God and it's just resolved

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like rain and it gives you peace in that moment.

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Like so much peace so much rain. Just restructuring just me You re energize, you get to reset. And I was saying to someone earlier last week was a really difficult week, for a particular reason, it just was very heavy. And it caused a lot of emotion. You know, shed some tears to release the negativity that I felt was in the space. And this year out this week, I walked into it filming like, I don't know, just a different sense of peace, a different sense of protection. It's just not the same, not that my environments have shifted, because I'm still walking into the same spaces in places I was walking into last week. But

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so for me, so I've been on my spiritual journey, where I want to say, consistently pounding the ground and being conscientiously aware of everything I say, everything I do, how I respond, and then not folding, when I feel like oh, I didn't get that right. Or, or I didn't handle that, right. And primarily, no self sabotaging. Oh, no, allowing myself to go mentally places that I don't really have to. Because again, we we've been in situations, then we find ourselves two weeks later, trying to figure out what was the big deal? Oh,

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so powerful that you said that I had a conversation with someone who kind of does who does life coaching, right, okay. And we were talking and I was going through something, and he said to me, and it was something I could just process, you are making the decision to feel that way. What, wait, what you're making the decision to hold on to whatever the emotion is, that takes you to the place that makes you feel the angst that you're experienced key word

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hold on to hold onto, that's the key, because the key word being hold on to is because one, I want everybody to understand that we are going to feelings and thoughts are going to come to us, that's just a natural part of life. No one wakes up feeling like Oh, I'm having anxiety because they just choose to something can happen. But we choose to stay in the space, we choose to allow it to be our demise, we choose it, we choose to allow it to have us responding in a certain way that a lot of times we can't come back from. And I'm I've been really good at processing. So one of the words when you I feel like to have a group of women together, you know, we've all established we all have things going on, and to be in a room to talk about. Because I don't want to give nothing away. But so one of my words is fear. Okay, and so mostly when people hear the word fear, is the way the mind responds to it, right. But we're gonna be in a safe place where when I bring the word fear up, it's totally not gonna be what you typically expect. So I have a whole list of words that I want us to be able to tap into. And just really take a moment as a group. So like sitting in the room with you, all the women that I selected in mind you it doesn't take away from any other women in my life. The ones that I have selected, they have some way shape or form. I've taken a little piece of them with me in a positive way. I don't look at anything else about them, I see them for who and how I see them. And that little piece, it just contributed to me like processing like and I see strength and all these women, one way shape or another. There's some strength about them that I've taken away from them. And so to put us in a room together, and we process fear, from a perspective that I'm gonna bring it will go into the new year on a whole nother level because perspective is everything. But why do I just want to have mine? Well, I can't take a piece of Tanya's fear. In clearly even in spite of your fear. You are the Tanya Flanagan that you are today. With all the things that you've been through with all the fears you've had the face, you are still who you are today because

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of all those experiences because exactly, you know, good or bad. Exactly. They shape who you are. I said earlier, the experiences shape who we are and they fashion us into who we are becoming. Because you're you never stopped learning people say I always want to learn you do. And you're not. You may be the foundation doesn't always shift so much like we're who we are based on who we were maybe in our 20s. But as you get older, you learn more you learn to do better, you learn to respond differently. And that growth continues to contribute to who you are becoming in how you handle things and the different things that you achieve. So I am so disappointed that I'm not going to be able to be a part of this conversation because I definitely am I was on the invite list and so I'm really bummed I've had a death in my family and so it's causing me to have to travel on the date that the event is coming up but I look forward to another opportunity if you do this again. No, this becomes something that you do with different groups of women. And I know absolutely this group was selected probably for a reason based on who those women are. So it's like, I'm not gonna be in the group I'm supposed to be. And so I'm not sure how that works. But oh, no, I, I think it's just a wonderful contribution to have self, to take the time to recognize the value of bringing women together. And allowing them to share in a safe environment, where they learn something about themselves properly, that they didn't even realize they should admire and appreciate. Exactly. And at the same time, learn something about other people that they can take

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another one of the words is rejection.

Unknown Speaker 10:43
Wow, we talked. Oh, so be quiet. And I know you guys are like, Why did that make tiny Shut up? Because the other day, you asked me about, you mentioned this, and we had a conversation and I share something and I think it's too much of your giveaway, so I can't get into it. Oh, my goodness, that's about it on so many levels. And not just the one when you say people think about something when they hear a word. The obvious reaction to rejection is a lot of times people think the relationship that didn't go well. But there's a lot of

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effects. It's so big. Yeah. So big. And I'm gonna give you one more, we're gonna talk about forgiveness.

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Oh, that's powerful. Because fear, rejection and forgiveness. And imagine being in one room, those are words that when you think about them, just bind you up. And you in a nutshell, could say, who these things have a hold on me in a way that I could be here. But I'm only here because of how fear rejection and forgiveness are affecting how I navigate my life.

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But in spite of though, right? So the point is we got or you might have you bring some women together who in the game, and I have to continue to say I met a young lady the other day. And she was somewhere when she heard me ask somebody else about coming to the event. And she goes, well, well, what makes me how do you know if you can be invited? And so I said, ask yourself some key things for yourself. So if you're in a room with women who are doing this, or got this going on, would you be okay? Because barons has taught me, you put a woman in a room and she got all this going on. And, uh, you put a woman in a room who's still trying to figure it out, it's gonna create imbalance. It's just the nature of it. It's nothing, nothing wrong with her or her, but the imbalance of where we are in life. And then I don't want nobody to feel no type of way. And so the balancing of it is if I get in a room with a bunch of women who I deem as powerful, who I deem has positioned himself in spaces, right? I know for me, if you look at where I come from, up until today, my life should look different, but it doesn't. And I'm gonna have to say this, I love how a lot, I've been saying Move Silently, a lot, Move Silently, you know, move silent, until you really come out like you really want to, and I'm one of those people who I love how the way you treat me. It tells me you see my value. And I can take another woman and the way she treats me, I'll really feel like she still don't understand who I am. But I hold her in high regard for that makes sense. And at the end of the day, I sat back and I am grateful for my life. I'm grateful to be in a space where $1 sign did not create my value, even though people assess you based on what they think, see, that's k word, what they think because really, we don't know what people have. We don't know what people doing. We really don't know what people have going on. We only know what they want us to know. And I love how the other day in my prayer closet. God said, Girl I have kept you sheltered because I'd be like a lot impulse that, oh, why didn't you know, let people know I do that, or why didn't and I felt like God was like I've showed her you land for a reason. And it gave me peace. And I'm grateful to know that the ones who see me see me and the ones who's going to see me going to see me. I had a conversation with one of my mentors, where we kind of mentor together. I'm on the board of this Eagles organization. And these are well well established people that I'm on this board with. When I was in the middle of having a conversation with him. He said to me, he said, Lynn, I know how to put a team together. And I put you on this team. And my spirit said he see you

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but that's it. Then the appreciation of your value same vein, you made me think about something, I got a Christmas card in the mail the other day. And it was from a member of one of my sorority sisters. And she uses it as a Christmas card. But this one had a little note in it. And it said my nickname for you was quiet thunder. And I didn't know I had a neck. You know? No, she had ever done that. Or hadn't even really look so closely, I guess. Yeah, maybe because what I do, I don't think about it. I do little things here and there that I can. And if I can be helpful to someone I'm always willing to try to help. Yeah, she said, You do a lot of really great things that are helpful that are amazing. But you never say anything about it. Exactly. Exactly. It just was so simple. Continue to be who you are. Exactly. And I thought, wow. Like it was, it was something because we don't spend a lot of time we don't get to spend a lot of time together. We don't get a chance to go out for coffee or dinner. It's not like a normal, I see her or she sees me all the time. So kind of in that same vein, it's like, you see me and then the Bible says, you know, let your light shine, you know, be the example Be who you Yeah, but not always talked, do what you do. Do it is just for the greatness of My Kingdom. And then it shall show itself type, you know? Absolutely.

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And that's key to as well as being mindful of why do we do what we do? And who are we doing what we do for right? And it makes a difference when you really look at it from that perspective, and bring women together who understand sometime we're living our life we're doing we do a weaver forget we even have a crown. Because we just live in, we just work in we just don't and the biggest word is we just help and right? And what about being celebrated by other women, that I think we all should be celebrated in some time I even forget, I've had moments where I've let my, my high become low, and then gotta send somebody or gotta have me do something. And I'd be like, they really want me to do that. Yeah, we do. You know. And so it's important that before we go on to the New Year, we all have purpose, all of us. And all of our lights can definitely be a reflection of the good. It can be a reflection of overcoming a reflection of because as women, we all go through stuff, it looks different, but some of it's the same. And I know some people who are in some amazing positions, but they've come through some stuff. Some stuff that on the flip side, because of what I do. I know women who can't even get themselves up off the guardrail on a women who walk around with a flash because they need what's in that flash to get through the day. I know women who self medicate, I know people whose institutions because that thing that my sister over here could handle my sister over here. And we don't even

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it's so interesting how we're all wired so differently, right? Yeah. Because you can be in the same. Maybe what's an example you could be in an household, right? And you are one of four or five children? And maybe there's tough love that's handled. Two or three of those kids my function fine with tough love. Yeah, but another two of them. It might be the thing that crumbles them for life, break they spirit and you just never know, like everybody handles things so differently.

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And I'll talk about that though, too. Don't ever minimize what somebody else been through, comparing it to what you've been through. You can't because again, because of the wiring different because of the different life experience, you know, I sit back and I know two young men and I watch out this young man has experienced this and this young man has experienced this. And they both respond to stuff so different and I know it's because of life experience. That creates and generate that type of response. And to go into 2024 in an environment where it's about building. It's about taking a new you know, you know I like my dice to talk about a beat the odds to take some new dice, a new perspective a new way of rolling things out. And we high rollers, all of us are high rollers and if you know v if I saw myself as a high roller, my shoulders up. I see myself as a high roller. My confidence is different. But it doesn't come with a monetary value. See we live in a world where if people think you're not financially where they think you should be, they kind of discard you sometime. You're right you're absolutely the riches is in all the things you cannot buy and I smile though I smile because I have some peace. And once you find that piece, you want to keep that piece you do and I just want to be in a room with a bunch of women before we go on to the new year to where I know every I'll have little nuggets Why not spread them? amongst some women who, in 2024, we're going to be that much more greater, that much more powerful, because from one powerful woman to another powerful woman, which all of women are powerful, let's be clear, this just invite is set up a certain way to get a group of women together that when 2020 24 Come, the next group of women that we touch, the women that we mentor, we just given each other our chopping arm. So

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do you see it exponentially growing to where say, women who go through and are part of the first event experience? are contributors? Oh,

Unknown Speaker 20:38
absolutely. But they gotta leave a contributor because they work with people.

Unknown Speaker 20:43
And I mean, to come back with you and have so you have another event in the spring. So you know, we do spring cleaning, right? So so you have a spring cleaning event? We don't clean house, we're gonna clean out we're gonna re purpose we're gonna take another look. Do you see them coming back and talking about or being a part of the next conversation? Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 21:05
That's how it's designed. And that's why this group is select the way it is. So when we do come back around, it's always definitely designed like that. And it's so funny, because even though the words that I chose, and people be like, Well, why because we're so used to attach a negative connotations. But fear have triumph. Women fear have taken women to levels they thought they could never go, right. And I had someone very near and dear to me. So he's such a beautiful soul. He said to me, you know, like, at first I was like, why would you want to talk about trauma, like why? And then he said, to watch how you know, trauma. He said, I felt like you given it a face, but not a a negative face, not an ugly face. But we don't want to talk about trauma, because we make it negative and bad. You

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have taken something that people normally associate with negativity, and despair, and you have taken it and use it as a tool of empowerment,

Unknown Speaker 22:04
I hope so thank

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you really happy because I have learned a tremendous amount. And how to think about things from the conversations that I've had. But you and I've watched you over the years move in different circles, and I did not know you well. And of late, God has allowed our past cross and out of it to have a friendship to slowly begin to blossom. And it's given me and afforded me the opportunity to listen to what you share, because I've seen you share it on many platforms. And I don't know if it's also because I've grown. So I've evolved. So my perspectives have changed, okay, but I've seen you present at other times, but now it resonates with me differently. And not that my life has had any I mean, it has definitely had trauma. I mean, I'm a three time breast cancer survivor and gone through all these different you know, we have different forms of trauma, whether it's disappointment about you know, whatever, but to say you now makes me have a different level of awareness and consideration of how people process trauma, and how to look at people and how to think about it. And I think it's just a really healthy conversation. And I love that you're doing this for women, and I love that you're closing out the year the way you have, and then creating this new space to

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feel refreshed. And I don't want women to feel like they come in and tell their business. It's nothing like that, like, people just be like, Oh, I thought when I read your first book, he was gonna be bashing me. And it's not bashing men at all? Absolutely not. So it's not about telling our business. It's it's a safe space. And it's a growing space. And it's a strengthening space. And I'm glad I got it on my heart to do it. At this time. My level of growth has. It makes me smile, it makes me smile, a lot of things and beliefs, subconscious beliefs, I've let them go. And it's healing and growth in that right. And just to know that I come from a city, we can really grow you guys. And you go either you have to be really prepared. But also we're going to walk away with being able to help the next woman, be honest, at the same level, but with some new skills, skills and you know, some new tools, some new strategies, just to be enlightened. It's like an enlightenment moment. You know, you take women, a lot of people be like, well, Lynn, you so different. And I don't know if I could have did this or I could have handled that. And I like to say you handled your space, the way you were supposed to handle your space. The space that we're in today is for us to be able to strengthen this space. Because

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we I got a story because it's like you're saying it's the thing we're what God has for you is for you. Yes, but it's also recognizing that sometimes we see people doing great things right? And we envy what they're doing.

Unknown Speaker 25:02
Thank you for being honest. But you say that word, you say that word envy. Oh my god people.

Unknown Speaker 25:07
And then if you're really healthy in the space of that, don't let that envy turn into negative behavior on your part, let it turn into maybe a moment of inspiration that pushes you and propels you forward to try to achieve something that maybe you've been trying to do. And the race you're running, but your race is distinctly yours. And I think that's the thing people sometimes miss or get caught up on. Okay, so the person next to you was here. And so you maybe you're doing different things, it doesn't mean what you're doing isn't as amazing and great as what they are doing exact yours. It's just different than I think another key thing and we're looking at our last five minutes of being able to talk here this morning, but something I really resonated with me. As we come out of the year going into the new self sabotage that was such a, you know, it will stick it was such a powerful thing, because sometimes we can know great things about us. But we're all human. So every so often, self doubt always rears its ugly little head and it can slip into the space for a moment. And self sabotage, be careful not to be your own worst enemy.

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So see how your own worst. This this disinvite lists, right are women that I've taken something away from that they probably don't even know they gave me. But because I can thank God that I don't sit back with nd I don't I don't sit back with me. I applaud women. I'm so grateful when I went to watch women grow and develop and build and succeed and make way right, it fuels my fire. So for me that takeaway, and to for them to even see. Because again, it's not that we don't know sometimes we forget we life. And we do and we hope and we serve in and we forget, we don't we don't pat ourselves on the back. But we also been told not to because it's vain, we really it's not. Because the more I can empower me because I have empowered me. It has been my own ability to put myself out when I fall, it's been my own ability. When I cry three, four o'clock in the morning to when six o'clock home, I'm feeling different out and cried out to God, he's been my main resource of everything. But to to know the value in that as a woman to woman, the value of being able to remove the envy, the jealousy, the Oh, she got something I don't got because baby, we all got a gym, we all are our own gym. And it's

Unknown Speaker 27:35
like you say you only know what people want you to know. So what you think is glistening and shiny and go might just be you know, go played it and a little tarnished. But we're all working on polishing and getting to where we want.

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The key is to remember that it's a constant polishing it constant polish, I can't get so high in my

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mind you when they want to find you and I don't want us to slip out all of our minutes and you haven't told anyone how to find the wonderful dynamic, sensational caring, giving innovative in life changing solutions, Len Josiah. So how did you find

Unknown Speaker 28:15
winch so all my social media is I am land just names or just land just same land is spelled l y n n e, just sames is J S A M E S? On my website, I have a lot of information now of how to contact me just with some click lifts a few buttons, some of the things that I've done and accomplished and yeah, I'm just I'm so ready for 2024 from a new space, a new perspective, a new attitude. And the women that is coming to women purpose and processing, we we are going to be on such a whole different level, even considering the level that we're already on. And we're going to be able to pour into other women. So we don't it's not that they can't do it without this event. But this is gonna be on a whole nother level.

Unknown Speaker 29:03
Well, I just want to say thank you. We are completely out of time. I love chatting with you. Thank you for coming on the show again and hanging out with me this morning. Thank you for giving back to the community and to people the way you do. I just want to say thank you. Oh, thank you to this wonderful week. And thank you to all of our listeners out there for joining us this morning on the scoop on K u and v 91.5. Public Radio. Have a great week want to thank you for tuning into the scoop with me Tony Flanagan and I want to invite you to get social with me I'm on Facebook and Twitter. My name is my handle TA in YAFL a na GA N You can also find me on Instagram at Tanya almond eyes Flanagan and if you have a thought and opinion or a suggestion, don't hesitate to shoot me an email to tonya.flanagan@unlv.edu Thanks again for joining in. Stay safe and have a great week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai