The Scoop with Tanya Flanagan

Wesley Knight 0:00
This is a KU NB studios original program. The content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 jazz and more the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.

Tanya Flanagan 0:19
Good morning, and thank you for joining me for the scoop with Tonya Flanagan, I'm so happy you decided to wake up and start your day with me here on the scoop, where we talk about life, joy, funny moments, trending topics and so much more, we promise to keep you in the know and find out what you know. So let's get started.

You Good morning Las Vegas, and welcome to another edition of the show. The scoop with me. Tanya Flanagan, thank you for tuning in. As always, I appreciate your support participation, as I always try to do. I try to bring an enjoyable conversation that is informative and entertaining that exposes you to new things, new people and opportunities to explore new experiences here in the state or in the city. We are back essentially in Las Vegas, done with the 83rd session of the Nevada legislature, so happy to have conversations about things in addition to what is going on and what has been going on in our state capitol over the last 120 days. And with that, I shift today's this morning show to more general topics, more on current topics of what's going on in our community, and refocus the spotlight on people who are advocates for others in the community in a different way. So I welcome to the show this morning. Gina Alexander, good morning. Gina, thank you for joining me.

Gina Alexander 1:46
Well, good morning Tonya, thank you for having me.

Tanya Flanagan 1:51
I am so excited to have you here today to talk about an upcoming event that you are doing style your soul and to hear more about the event. It's a program you're having in remembrance of trauma and domestic violence survivors, and so looking forward to getting into the motivation behind it as much as you'd like to share, and just allowing listeners to get to know you. So before we move forward, let's do the full introduction of yourself to the community. I've known you for years, and you've worn a number of different hats, from youth council work with Clark County, volunteering for neighborhood programs like camp brotherhood, Camp sisterhood, types of different things. Whenever I needed to do a communications workshop that involved young people, teenagers, I was called you and said, Gina, I can't do this unless you're at my side, you're by my side, and you give me some help, and we partner, and you always answer the call this. You should have a way with young people and talking to them and connecting. So a little bit about your full resume. Introduce yourself more than I have to the to the listening audience.

Gina Alexander 3:00
Well, Tanya, I think you did a great job. Again. My name is Gina Alexander, and funny thing about it is I am a native of Las Vegas, but I have very strong roots in New Orleans, Louisiana, but I've been here all my life, but I've been doing the work for over 30 years, and with that work, it has I have had so many platforms, like she said, I've gone from working in Housing Authority, for the court system, for the school district, from working with Department of Family Services, working with gang intervention, working with recruitment and licensing and foster children and abuse and neglect and truancy and helping families. And again, my volunteer work of really working with at risk youth, and after, you know, they get out of school, and we wanted to have a safe summer, but I was always there to put that curriculum together to make something so fun, but really dealing with safety. So I come a long way, and then here I am jumping out on faith, doing some different things, and still in the line of the services, of Human Services and helping people, but now my platform is so much bigger, because I am a survivor. I have helped heal, and I have done the work so that I can really go out there in the community and get this movement going, because that's what I really look at this as a movement. And as we talk more about it in the show, I can go really deep into how we got here and where the name came from. I mean, you gotta be real excited, because the last time we talked was a year ago, and I was in a different place, but I'm I have done some work, and I'm ready to go out there and really hit the ground running to get my ladies, my my. It's not just to ladies. I am. I am a lady. So we always speak to ladies, but I'm speaking to everyone. This topic is so deep, and you will see that it affects everyone in so many different ways, and I'm just here to really be there to facilitate this on June 21 and we'll talk more about it.

Tanya Flanagan 5:23
I appreciate that. And for folks who are listening and you're going, well, what's the topic? What's the issue? The issue, folks, is domestic violence, and the month of October is set aside for domestic violence awareness. So one of my questions as we get into the show will be, why you chose June and not October, when there is a national spotlight on domestic violence, because I know there's a thought process behind that. So what we're talking about today is trauma and healing, moving past it, and finding your strength and purpose through a traumatic event, because that is what is what you've done. And I think there everyone, we all have different challenges in life, but not everyone who faces a challenge finds his or herself call to action to respond to that challenge in a way that becomes a service to other people. So I want to say thank you, because sometimes we go through things and we just we hold it back, we hide it. It's embarrassing, it's painful, and the last thing you want to do is put yourself or the issues in your life on display for others to see, even though unveiling that portrait of who you are, broken, resurrected, regenerated, reborn. Is a testimony for others and a blueprint for how to to heal and to survive in spite of what tried to attack you and tear you down. So I want to first say thank you. Thank you. If you, if you don't mind, sharing some of the story of what brought you to do a program on June 21 June will be hosting a program called in remembrance of trauma and domestic violence survivors, you're invited to style your soul. And it's June 21 it's going to be on East sunset, and I'm not sure if the location has a name, but we'll get into the address and starts at 1130 in the morning on this day, on this Saturday, June 21 so, Jenna, you want to talk a little bit about what brought you to do this?

Gina Alexander 7:33
Okay? Well, one, I wanted to really highlight that June 21 because June 21 2025 that date was selected. It's my mom's birthday. I lost my mother three years ago, and I chose that day because I normally will be somewhere, crying, sobbing, sitting at her, at her tomb, you know, sending flowers. But I decided I was going to select that day, because that was a day of remembrance of my mother, and she is one of the reasons why I am the stylish person I am, and I wanted to celebrate her on her day. But then also I went back, and I look back, and this is, this is funny, because I the event that I had gone through two and a half years ago, which makes me a survivor of domestic violence. It was a funny thing that when I looked at my divorce paper, that was the day I actually divorced. So it's my mom's birthday and the day that I left the person who harmed me. So it is definitely a surreal day for me. So that is one of the reasons why I selected June 21 but how did I come up with this? How did I? How did style your soul? How did it? How do we? How did it come? How did you born? You know, the birth of the style yourself. Well, one of the thing is what you need to know about it, it's when fashion meets emotional well being, and we're going to heal through our wardrobe. So that is one of the things that the way of dealing with your depression and self esteem, but doing it in a way that you use fashion. And it was mistakenly done because I had a different platform. I had been wanting to do something, but then I had a different platform. I wanted to go out there. I wanted to educate everyone about domestic violence, abuse and trauma. You know, after battling with it of the why and the how, I realized I wouldn't be able to ever fully educate anyone on the signs of the why the world is changing, and there are so many forms of abuse and reasons, I would have been spinning my wheels trying to really hone in on what is domestic violence? What is the signs? You know what to do? Because at the end of the day, I realized. So I needed a movement. I needed something bigger. I needed a platform that included everyone's story, because everyone has a story, whether it is domestic violence, childhood, adult trauma, health issues, mental health, so much more. So when I thought about this movement, I wanted to have something that people had control of, because sometimes we don't have control of what people do to us, not not even sometimes we never have control of what happens to us. It just happens. So I no longer want to concentrate on what someone has done to me and the reasons why they did it, because at the end, the only person who I'm responsible for is me. So me and my lovely daughter was talking one day, and we were just brainstorming, and she said to me, Mom, do what you love to do. And I said, Well, that's easy. I love helping and healing people. She said, okay, but also you have another passion. And I say, yeah, that's fashion. And she said, Okay. She says, so take fashion and combine it. And so since fashion was one of the things that was helping me with my healing and giving back my self esteem. So I decided to combine the two, and that was the birth of style your soul. My tagline is dressed to feel better, not how you feel, unless it's amazing. I realized when I showed up in my best version of myself, I attracted beautiful people, positive people, and I brought that beautiful energy around me. Nobody in the room knew my story unless I told it, because I didn't look like what I had been.

Tanya Flanagan 11:53
I love that that is powerful. That is words to power. And like you said, everyone has a different journey of trauma. You've watched me go through things minor health related, in some cases, other forms of trauma as well. But that is such a true statement that I remember going through the hair loss period of my breast cancer and going to get the wig to cover my, you know, to cover my head. I got up that morning and I put on this horrible outfit, because, you know, I'm a fairly fashionable person. I might not do it as well as you do it, but I'm fairly fashionable person. And in that space, I got up on the skirt and a sweater, like, it's a nice skirt, or any other day, the skirt was nice in its own right. The turtleneck was nice, and it's all right, but all together, I just felt, I don't know, blah, if you will. And so later, my, you know, girlfriend was there with me. She's taking these photos as I'm trying out the wig to see, you know, if I like it, if I can deal with it. And later, I looked back and I said, What you let me wear the outfit out the house? And she said, Well, I'm trying to tell you, I was like, you let me go out the door like this frumpy this to say you were sad, and I couldn't get you to change, and I just let you go through it for that day. And I was like, Oh my gosh, how it reflected the mood that I was in. And it stayed with me that when you feel a little down, you need a little pick me up, put on something that makes you feel pretty, that makes you feel proud, that makes you feel strong, and even if you don't, it will change the trajectory for that day and improve your attitude, and improve what people see, and improve the energy that you give and the energy that you give back. So there's so much truth and what you're saying, if we can, it may seem like a small thing, but it can have such an amazing impact on how you're feeling, to put forward your best self in spite of what you're going through.

Gina Alexander 13:53
You're so right, and Tanya and I would like to piggyback off of what you're saying, because I had to, I had to do the work first before I could actually get in front of a bunch of people and say, look, let's style our soul. I had to actually do the experiment. I had to actually walk the walk. And so two and a half years ago, when, when I was that surviving domestic violence and getting ending my marriage, I decided that with therapy and spirituality, I had to spend two years how to how am I going to forgive myself? How am I going to forgive my past? Am I in one of my problems was I had to forgive that, believing that love changes behavior. So people, I don't care how much you love them, I don't care how much you do to love them, it's not going to change their behavior. So I. I had to do that. First, I had to get into therapy. And then after that, I said, I'm going to do this experiment. I wanted to see what it meant to love myself. I reflected back when I was in other relationships, what was one of the things that constituted when someone was into you or loved you. And I immediately thought I remember it was when he was kind affectionate, when he gave me compliments, especially when he was taking me places in public. And most of all, I really enjoyed when we were taking pictures together. He was taking pictures of me and sharing them on social media with family and friends just to show me off. And then that was when I realized, you know, as as the marriage was, was was disseminating, that those things started to diminish. And when I was with him, especially when I found out the constant infidelity, I realized I wasn't getting any of those things, and it resulted in me losing myself depression and questioning my self worth. So part of my experiment, I wanted to be kind to myself, so that's what I did. I wanted to show affectionate towards myself. I gave myself compliments. I was showing up in places as my best version of myself, but I did the ultimate. I took pictures of myself, I posted them on social media, and instantly Tanya, I fell in love with self. I no longer needed validation from anyone, because if you don't love yourself, you will never a true type of people that know your worth doing this experiment, though, have pros and cons. You know that, right,

Tanya Flanagan 16:50
of course. So let me stick a pin in it and let me add to this. Let me add to because I watched your journey in social media, and I was like, I love Gina spirit because I'm more conservative. You are. I'm a different kind of bold. You have the feathers, the fur, the Boas, the the gold, the silver, the sparkles, the glitz. I'm like, Gina, though she's the beast today. Oh my look at this post, and I would see these posts, and I'm watching this evolution, and because I'm knowing, I'm like, Look at my girl shine. Look at her coming through the fire, coming back out of it, like a phoenix. And so I just want to say that I watched you do this in part on social media, and I was like, that's cute. Look at look at Xena, because not everyone has certain people do different things, I could never pull off. What you pull off, it's not me, but I have my own style, and so your flamboyancy is is amazing. It's remarkable. But each one of us has our own different different style, different presence, and there's some people who do fashion in a way that's just like it's memorizing how well they put colors together, pieces together, textures, patterns, play with things, express themselves, and you're just one of those people, and you have this unique gift for doing that and the desire to share with other people. I also want people to know who are interested in what style yourself is all about. It's a fashion show. It's food brunching, where they can get tickets so that while we have good time in the show, we're sharing with folks the information that they need to to be at this event. So can you share that with them? And then we'll

Gina Alexander 18:40
do yes, yes. And for more information, if you want me to send the link so that you can get tickets to the event, you can email me at style your soul 2020 five@gmail.com and I can send that link to you on Facebook under Gina Alexander. I have the link on there as well. I have been promoting this event. You'll see all of my journey on that event, and really kind of see where I came from and where I am now. And you know, you're right. Everybody has a different style. And the funny thing, style your soul, is my actual movement, but my subject that day is the bold, the beautiful and the story. And we were going to really dive into that of how some people can walk out bold. Some people see themselves beautiful, but everybody is the story. We're all the story I have seen people, I have a girlfriend and, and I'm missing her name on here, and and Miss Pam. Miss Pam is one of our camp sisterhood sisters. And I love Miss Pam, because Miss Pam would throw a sweat suit on. She'll be matching from head to toe, it's a sweat suit, and then throw a. Beautiful scarf around her neck, and that changed the whole outfit. But what did that do when she walks in a room, someone's gonna be like, That's a Nike sweat suit and a scar. I'm gonna have to walk up to her and tell her how I like how she put that together conversation. It's a conversation piece, and it brings people too. But, you know, like I said, I had the mic, my pros in this, my self esteem was restored. It definitely was. I was and I learned how to take pictures of myself. I never had to ask anybody to take a picture of me, and I never had to worry about anybody that I'm dating to care, you know, because I realized that that was one of the ways that he was dimming me down and putting me in depression, because he did not ever say, you're beautiful. I like your outfit. Let me take a picture of you. So I was like, I don't need nobody to take a picture of me so. But unfortunately, I found myself apologize if I celebrated myself. That was the that was the con. And then I was losing friendships. I was losing relationships. And most of all, you know people, people will stop, stop approaching me because I was really I was so confident nobody, a lot of people didn't want to say anything to me. But then I realized that this experiment was working. I finally was in a place in my life that my love for myself put a shield around and protected me from people that were broken, that was looking for the broken people understand that when you come in a room and you look like your story, you're going to attract so many people because they want to come over there to tell you, you going to be okay, what's going on with you, and then you always got that one broken person who hasn't done the work with themselves that they come looking for you, and it looks like love, but It's not it looks like attention. It's not they're coming to break you some more. So, you know, these people sometimes are dealing with their own insecurities, and they wouldn't ever be able to handle someone that is secure with themselves, so they don't even approach you. The sad part was I realized that these people were the people that will belittle you. You know, they will attack your confidence and make sure you don't receive any more praises or or even humble you. So I was realizing that when you do have people that you attract That's not for you, and they're not in the positive, they'll stop belittling you. You're taking too many pictures. Why are you doing all of that? You know? Why you all over social media? That's because they are not secure, and they want to make you insecure. So I had to take that makes me think about

Tanya Flanagan 22:55
that makes that brings me to a question for you, that so as you take this journey, you find yourself healing, presenting your best self, putting, as they say, your best foot forward people whose paths that you cross, and you're right. Misery loves company, you know. And so you'll find moments when, if you're down and out, there's a gravitational effect that happens, where people who are experiencing sadness gravitate and then, you know, you commiserate together. And sometimes that doesn't add to your healing, it just prolongs the pain, or someone who may let you wallow in it too long. But you know, people have to take their journey, and we heal at different paces. But have you ever thought that now that you're in this different place, the people who were watching you from afar, who would have gravitated toward you when they were sad, as well as your desire to seek them out or be accessible to them, so that that other sad person finds you, and you help them find a pathway out of the darkness the way you found the pathway out of your darkness to light. Because you know we're talking about really domestic violence in this place of love and relationships and so many of us at different times. And let's be also clear, domestic violence is not just if you're being hit. Domestic violence is, as you said, the depression from not having positive communication. Are being insulted, being disrespected, infidelity, lack of time, lack of kindness. Pain in relationships comes from so many different things and all of that different type of hurt can leave you feeling incomplete, sad, asking yourself, how you find yourself in the space of the relationship that feels like the mistake when at first it felt like a positive place to be and like you had met this great person. So relationship trauma and disappointment and love creates a lot of different outcomes, and we all at different points in time in life, have thought we were in love. Believe you like somebody got your heart broken. Sometimes it's worse than others, and they can take you through a metamorphosis of of healing to get back to being who you know yourself to be. But having gone through that and being where you are, I feel and I've been there where I thought, I, you know, cared for someone, I thought where I cared for someone very deeply, and it was not a happy ending, and it created a great deal of pain, and I had to heal from that pain, and you realized there are things you take away that you're able to then give to someone else, whether their pain is work related, relationship with a friend, any type of trauma that is relationship oriented, human to human contact, you now have tools to help other people. So now that you have these tools, are you hoping that the people that you encountered in this journey that were sad are the very people whose lives you touch through doing your program and doing your outreach and what you call your movement.

Gina Alexander 26:07
Yes, and that is exactly what I want. I want. I I want people to heal in their wardrobe. That's my whole thing, healing your wardrobe. Because, again, we cannot, we we can't control what people do to us, but we can. We can control how we get over it and how we move past it. And one of the things that I realized that when I was in my depression and self esteem, having self esteem issues, I wanted to just lay in the van. I didn't want to leave out the house because I didn't want to. I just couldn't get up and comb my hair. And that's my biggest thing is, if I, if you are going through something, and everyone is going to go through something, like I said, I got away from just one platform, because domestic violence is a big platform. But there's so many. We have childhood trauma, you know, we have people are experiencing health issues that people are losing their job in today's time. You know, we got a lot of things that people are dealing with that don't want to get up, show up at their best version. So I'm like my whole, my whole movement is about and the movement is stress to feel better, not how you feel, unless it's amazing. I want you to get up, wake up. Wait. Let's wake up. Wake up. Get up, dress up and show up in your best version, because if you lost that job and you in the house crying about it, you're not going to meet anybody to get another one. If you got up at your best version and you showed up and you brought over positive people, and you end up talking to someone that can get you a job. I'm pretty sure they probably never would have came over to talk with you, or even thought to even say anything to you if you was all slumped over or you wasn't even there. So that is when I did the experiment. I started like I got a whole different group of people, and not only how I have a different group of people that that I'm working with, I have people from my past that was also in the same situation I was in that now has gravitated To me, and we are healing in our wardrobe together. And I'm like,

Tanya Flanagan 28:47
I'm just so what? We're gonna stick a pin in it, because we're running out of time, as we do always with good show folks. It's June 21 it's coming up fashion, brunch food. Give it one more time. Gina, where people can find out how to get tickets. And we're going to wish everyone a great week, and we'll see them there.

Gina Alexander 29:07
Okay, so style your soul. 2020 five@gmail.com

Tanya Flanagan 29:15
thank you for tuning in. I appreciate you. I'll see you next week. Same time, same station, 91.5 kumb Jazz and more. Have a great week. I want to thank you for tuning in to the scoop with me. Tonya Flanagan, and I want to invite you to get social with me. I'm on Facebook and Twitter. My name is my handle, T, a n, y a F, l, a n, a G, A N. You can also find me on Instagram at Tonya. Almalis Flanagan, and if you have a thought, an opinion or a suggestion, don't hesitate to shoot me an email to tonya.flanagan@unlv.edu Thanks again for joining in. Stay safe and have a great week. You.